l Super Serial Q and A
This is really going to sound crazy; but its more of a vent than anything.
I just don't know.
I know whats hurting me, I know whats torturing me and making me feel pain and hurt and makes me feel so tied down. I know why i'm so sick and stressed that I missed two cycles. I know whats wrong but
I worked so hard for this one thing
and i'm scared to lose it all again;
but this isn't who i am anymore
I can't keep lying to myself to make me feel better.
The constant and same nightmares, the inability to breathe, the inability to think of ANYTHING ELSE but this! Waking up after two hours sleep every night only to stay up thinking of the same thing.
Memory loss; I can't remember much right now;
As much as anyone says I barely remember what it felt like not to feel sick, not to feel hated; crazy; i can't remember the last year of my life. I am truly losing it.
I don't know what to do;
I'm losing my sanity over this;
i can feel it
I had a really bad temper these last few days and i lost myself in them;
I know this isn't me;
All i am now is a monster and I don't feel right in my own skin
but i don't know what to do
who to talk to
who will listen to me
not judge me?
fight with me over how I am feeling?
please this is making me sick
just stop it already
just stop it.
i'm so tired of existing if its going to be like this.
I don't deserve it and I can't take it. This stress
I'm going to lose my mind.
I can;t breathe anymore when i think;
I feel my chest tighten and hurt as if I shouldn't try
but i claw my own skin to feel the relief of air in my lungs;
I have to gasp for it now
my body is covered in bruises and my hands in marks;
I don't see where i walk and i just walk into everything.
when will the suffering end?
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